There's Nothing Left In Life?:(?

well, start by taking small steps. do u know his email address? if u do, email him. maybe, u could havve video chats with him. dont worry about 75%. that is actually pretty good!. he probably thinks about you., not in a weird way. maybe, u could get a coffee with him. if u hv ever had a family member die, how long did it take u to get over it? also, try talking to a psyciatrist. they can help