Is it bad to hate a person especially when they are doing wrong things over and over to you?

I'm married and I have a step son. I joined them when the kid is 10yrs old. The first year, we're all doing fine until the next year I've noticed that the kid has a bad attitude and behavior. Being grown up from a family with values, love, discipline and respect, it's hard for me just watch the kid's bad behavior. The kid grows up without a mom and was spoiled by the dad that he had learned to lie big time, disrespect his dad, hate his dad, no discipline whatsoever, talk backs and no manners. I love my husband so much that I keep on protecting him from the verbal abuse that the kid is doing to him. My husband has a feeling too that's why it hurts me so much when the kid does that to him. The kid has been doing that continously until now and since then I'm beginning to dislike the kid and now turns to hate which I keep for myself. And it get worse when the kid told me that i am retarded, evil, "why should I respect you, you're not my mom, it's not stated in the bible to respect a step mom" and telling me I am stupid. So everytime those words were utter to me we end up fighting with the kid and my husband. Instead of my husband stopping the kid and telling the kid it isn't right to disrespect me, it's reverse. My husband will tell me instead to shut up in front of the kid. It happened many occassions. Being this situation does he teaches the kid to respect me? zero at all...I told myself to be patience but yet patience has limitations. Just yesterday, we had a fight again with the same issue. I corrected him because he've done something with the food that isn't right. So, the kid reacted and then the dad told me to shut up again. I am pissed so we end up with nasty confrontation. He then told me that you really hate the kid because every thing you see in him is all wrong, nothing is right (which is really the truth). I then said yes," i have hatred in my heart for your son. I am not like you that forgets and forgive things easily". Fights like this make me give up my marriage. It hurts because even if I do the extra mile of taking care of them, this is all I get from my husband. I never felt like I am a wife. Now, tell me is it bad to hate the son? My husband don't realize that I will be the one to take care of him for the rest of his life, not his son. Does this make me a bad person because I hate someone? It's hard to give love when you are not respected. Please I need your advise. I could not stop crying...I love my husband so much but do you think it would be better for me to leave so both of them will have their life back?